🏆 I’m Not Power Hungry… I Just Control Everything

 (Acceptance Speech, Presented by the Whistle Management Committee)

First off… thank you.

Not everyone has the stomach for authority.
But me?
I make power look poetic.

I didn’t get here by being liked.
I got here by making the right call…
Even when it ruined a championship… a bracket… or your weekend.

This isn’t power-hunger.
It’s professional oversight.

When I T’d up your favorite player for breathing too confidently?
That wasn’t personal.
It was necessary.

Control is an art.
And I’m Picasso with a whistle.

I’ve studied momentum shifts like market trends.
I’ve turned crowd energy into static silence.
And I’ve ejected a coach mid-prayer circle just to restore balance.

Power-hungry?
No.
I’m just violently organized.

So today, as I accept this award for “Most Likely to Eject a Mascot Award”
I remind you…

It’s not about the game.
It’s about who gets to own the moment.

And if that happens to be me?
Well then…
Good call.