I only control the things I can control. Like every single thing on the court.
We were five minutes into the session when she paused and asked:
“Do you feel like you need to be in control all the time?”
I said no.
Because I don’t feel like I need to be.
I know I need to be.
Big difference.
Look, I’m not obsessive.
I just like when everything happens the way I already decided it should.
On the court, they call it leadership.
In therapy, they call it “avoidant.”
One time she asked me what it feels like to let go.
I said “like a blown call I didn’t fix.”
She smiled like she understood.
Then wrote something down like she didn’t.
Either way…
I walked out calm, confident, and still undefeated in verbal sparring.
So yeah.
Firm. Not controlling.
And that’s not denial… that’s a diagnosis.
Whistle Diaries: Right. Every. Time. 
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